Shyness doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for visibility — it just means you may need a different approach to speaking up and showing up for your business.
How to Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness When Visibility Feels Scary?
It’s not what you think…
How do you overcome social anxiety and shyness as an entrepreneur or creative?
In a world of constant connection and talking head videos, it can feel really overwhelming!
This episode is for you if you’ve ever felt uncomfortable showing up online, on a stage or just sharing your face and voice with strangers.
It’s for the introverts, the shy people and even camera-shy extroverts!
Best-selling author and shyness expert, Nadia Finer joins me to truly understand how the fear of judgement, public speaking anxiety and putting yourself out there can create major blocks for us when it comes to visibility. This isn’t just about how to speak confidently or how to get rid of shyness, it’s how to embrace who you are while making small doable steps to share your voice in wider circles.
We talk about her own journey with shyness and how she’s struggled with making phone calls to speaking on stage in front of hundreds.
The lesson here isn’t that you need to “force yourself to do better,” it’s about how to be kind as you find your own path to public speaking or showing up.
What you’ll learn:
- Why shyness is about the fear of being judged
- How public speaking anxiety can show up surprisingly
- Why forcing yourself to “just get over it” fails
- How to speak confidently with tiny steps
- Making visibility work for you…not them.
Listen For…
inspiration and to raise your voice with less fear, more confidence and a whole lot of compassion.
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 — Why showing up online can feel so uncomfortable
01:29 — Nadia’s story of public speaking anxiety
04:40 — How voice shame and fear of being judged stops us
09:31 — Why entrepreneurs struggle with visibility
13:38 — How to speak confidently…little by little
MORE ABOUT NADIA FINER
Nadia Finer is an author and shyness expert whose work helps adults and children understand shyness in a more compassionate, empowering way.
She’s the author of Shy and Mighty and The Quiet Riot, and her insights will help you figure out what visibility looks like for you!
CONNECT WITH NADIA FINER
Website: https://www.shyandmighty.com/
Books: https://www.shyandmighty.com/books/
Instagram: @iamshyandmighty
LISTEN TO NEXT:
Public Speaking Tips for Entrepreneurs
RESOURCES
Instagram:@chardetryel
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MORE ABOUT THIS VISIBILITY FOR ENTREPRENEURS PODCAST EPISODE
“I knew what I wanted to say but I just didn’t feel like I had the voice to do it.”” – Nadia Finer, Shy & Mighty
- Shyness isn’t being “broken” or “needing fixed”
- Fear of judgement makes visibility feel bigger.
- Public speaking anxiety softens with small steps.
- Showing up online is easier when it actually feels like you.
What If You’re Not Bad at Visibility — You’re Just Afraid of Being Judged?
Have you ever opened Instagram, stared at the camera, and suddenly felt like your whole body whispered, “Absolutely not today”? Maybe you know what you want to say. Maybe you even believe in your message. But the moment you imagine people watching, listening, judging, or misunderstanding you, everything tightens. As Nadia Finer says in this conversation, shyness can feel like “a fear of being judged or a fear of uncertainty,” and for so many women entrepreneurs, that fear becomes loudest right at the edge of being seen.
This is where the conversation around how to overcome social anxiety and shyness needs more nuance. Because for entrepreneurs, visibility isn’t just about posting more videos, pitching more podcasts, or becoming better at public speaking. It asks something deeper of you. It asks you to let people witness your voice, your ideas, your facial expressions, your energy, your imperfect little human pauses. No wonder Nadia describes showing up online as “pressure to show up and be seen.” That pressure can feel enormous when your business depends on connection, but your nervous system would prefer a quiet cup of tea and no audience whatsoever.
Why Shyness Can Feel So Personal in Business
In business, shyness often gets misread as a strategy problem. You think you need a better content plan, a stronger hook, a sharper script, or a new platform. Sometimes those things help, of course. But underneath the procrastination, over-editing, and disappearing can be a much more tender question: will I still be safe if people see me? Nadia shares that she once thought, “I just didn’t feel like I had the voice like I could do it,” and that line captures what many early-stage entrepreneurs quietly carry.
This is why advice like “just be more confident” rarely lands. Confidence is not a costume you throw on over shame. It has to be built from the inside, especially when your fear has a history. Nadia talks about feeling “massive self consciousness” around her voice and remembering the first time she heard herself played back. That moment shaped choices for years — the calls she avoided, the stages she ruled out, the messages she never left. If you’ve ever wondered How to get rid of shyness, the answer may not begin with getting rid of anything. It may begin with understanding what your shyness has been trying to protect.
The Fear of Being Judged Is Not a Character Flaw
One of the most grounding reframes in this conversation is that shyness does not mean you are broken, weak, or behind. Nadia says, “I wasn’t broken and there wasn’t really anything wrong with me,” and that sentence matters. Because when you believe your sensitivity is a defect, you spend your energy trying to perform your way out of it. You force yourself to sound more polished, post more often, act more extroverted, and copy the person who seems effortlessly visible online.
But the fear of being judged makes sense when visibility feels like exposure. Your brain does not always know the difference between a real threat and a social threat. A reel, a podcast interview, a networking event, or a presentation can all trigger the same inner alarm: what if they laugh, dismiss me, misunderstand me, or decide I’m not credible? Nadia names those thoughts clearly: “Will I be good enough? Are they gonna be looking at me? Are they gonna judge me?” That is not vanity. That is vulnerability meeting uncertainty.
The Confidence Your Way Framework
The most powerful shift is not from shy to fearless. It is from self-rejection to self-leadership. Nadia says, “Never feel kind of ashamed or apologetic for who you are,” which becomes a beautiful foundation for quiet confidence. You can want growth and still honor your temperament. You can build visibility and still need recovery time. You can speak powerfully without becoming the loudest person in the room.
A more sustainable framework for confidence begins with naming, not shaming. Instead of telling yourself, “I’m not good at this,” you might simply say, “I feel shy today.” Nadia points out that when you name the feeling, “you suddenly think okay, it’s alright.” That tiny internal shift matters because it moves you out of identity and into experience. You are not a shy failure. You are a capable person having a shy moment.
The second part of the framework is personalization. Nadia says, “I think you have to find your own steps,” and that may be one of the most strategic visibility lessons any entrepreneur can hear. Your path to confidence does not have to look like someone else’s. One person may thrive on live video. Another may begin with voice notes. Someone else may speak beautifully in interviews but freeze in groups. This is not inconsistency. This is information.
The third part is compassionate stretch. Nadia offers a challenge that feels both gentle and confronting: “don’t deliberately avoid the thing that you know will help you.” That is the line between honoring yourself and hiding from your own growth. Quiet confidence does not demand that you bulldoze your nervous system. It also does not let fear run the entire business. It asks: what is the brave next edge that still feels human?
Public Speaking Anxiety Is Often Visibility Anxiety in Disguise
Public speaking anxiety does not only happen on a stage. It can appear when you introduce yourself on a group call, pitch a collaboration, record a podcast intro, or share a thought that actually matters to you. Nadia describes sitting with a microphone being passed around and realizing that “you had to almost like scramble for the microphone to say something.” That image is so telling, because many entrepreneurs feel that way online too. The internet can feel like a room where the boldest voices grab the mic first.
Yet there is something deeply moving in Nadia’s next realization. Looking at the girls in the audience, she thought, “They need to see that not everyone sounds the same.” That is a powerful visibility reframe for any founder, coach, creative, or service provider. Your difference is not always the obstacle. Sometimes it is the medicine. The voice you are tempted to hide may be the exact voice someone else needs to hear in order to feel less alone.
How to Speak Confidently Without Performing Confidence
When people search How to speak confidently, they often want techniques: posture, breathing, scripts, eye contact, delivery. Those can help. But this conversation points to something more foundational: confidence becomes more believable when it matches your actual personality. Nadia says, “the way I am is pretty cool and we need people like me,” and that is the kind of self-trust that makes visibility feel less like theater.
For women entrepreneurs, this matters because so much business advice still rewards a narrow version of confidence. Big energy. Big opinions. Big promises. Big everything. But your audience may not need a bigger performance from you. They may need a clearer, truer presence. Nadia reminds us that “not everyone sounds the same,” and that is not a problem to fix. It is a reason your message can land differently.
The Cave You Avoid May Hold the Business Growth You Want
One of the most memorable ideas from the conversation comes through the Joseph Campbell quote Nadia shares: “The cave which you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” For entrepreneurs, that cave might be video. It might be podcast guesting. It might be pitching. It might be telling the more honest story instead of hiding behind educational tips. It might be letting your audience see the human behind the expertise.
But the point is not to sprint into the cave with a ring light and a forced grin. The point is to get curious about why that particular cave feels charged. Nadia says, “what are you afraid of, what are you putting off?” Those questions hold more wisdom than another generic visibility checklist. When something repeatedly scares you and matters to you, it may be pointing toward a deeper layer of leadership.
You Don’t Have to Build a Business That Burns Through You
A beautiful part of this conversation is the permission to design visibility around your actual capacity. Nadia asks, “what can I consistently do without burning out,” and that question deserves a place on every entrepreneur’s desk. Because visibility that costs you your peace will eventually become visibility you resent. A strategy only works if the human behind it can keep breathing.
This is especially important in the first three years of business, when comparison can sneak into every corner. You may see someone posting daily reels, speaking on stages, running launches, hosting events, and wonder why you can’t seem to keep up. But Nadia says, “there’s no rules, you don’t have to do it,” and that is not an excuse to disappear. It is a reminder that your business can grow through aligned visibility, not constant self-abandonment.
The Future Version of You May Still Be Shy — And More Powerful
Here is the future pace that feels honest: you may not become someone who never feels shy. Nadia still says, after doing brave things, “I need to lie down now and not speak to anyone.” And honestly? That might be the most relatable confidence statement ever. Growth does not always mean the feeling disappears. Sometimes it means the feeling no longer gets the final vote.
Imagine building a business where your voice gets stronger without your softness having to vanish. Imagine becoming more visible without becoming more performative. Imagine letting yourself be “a little bit different in how you show up” and discovering that your audience connects more deeply because of it. That is the kind of confidence worth building — not loud for the sake of loud, but rooted enough to be heard.
If this stirred something in you, listen to the full conversation with Nadia Finer on Her First Three Years. Nadia’s honesty around shyness, voice, business, and visibility offers the kind of permission many entrepreneurs do not realize they’ve been waiting for: “you can still say stuff,” even if your voice shakes a little at first.
FAQ
What is the best way to learn how to overcome social anxiety and shyness?
The best place to begin is by naming the feeling without turning it into an identity, because Nadia reminds us, “I feel shy today” is very different from deciding you are incapable.
How can entrepreneurs deal with the fear of being judged online?
Entrepreneurs can start by recognizing that the “fear of being judged” is a normal human response, then choose visibility practices that feel brave without requiring them to become someone else.
How do I get rid of shyness when I need to promote my business?
Instead of asking only “How to get rid of shyness,” consider what Nadia calls “your own steps,” because sustainable confidence usually grows through self-trust, not self-erasure.
Why do I feel anxious about public speaking even when I know my topic?
You may know your topic but still feel exposed, because Nadia says shyness can appear when “people are judging me,” especially in new rooms, new formats, or high-visibility moments.
How can I speak confidently if I hate hearing my own voice?
Start by treating voice discomfort with compassion, since Nadia shares that hearing her own voice once made her think, “I sound so weird,” yet her voice later became part of her impact.
Is shyness bad for entrepreneurship?
No, shyness is not bad for entrepreneurship, because as Nadia says, “not everyone sounds the same,” and your quieter way of communicating may help the right people feel deeply seen.
Can I be visible online without burning out?
Yes, and Nadia’s question “what can I consistently do without burning out” is a strong filter for choosing visibility strategies that support your business and your nervous system.
Should shy entrepreneurs force themselves to be more confident?
Shy entrepreneurs do not need to force a fake personality, because Nadia’s reminder to “never feel kind of ashamed or apologetic for who you are” points to a more grounded kind of confidence.
TRANSCRIPT WITH NADIA FINER, FOUNDER OF SHY AND MIGHTY
Chardét Ryel (00:00)
Have you ever felt uncomfortable showing up online? Maybe it’s hearing your voice, seeing a video, you’re worried about the judgment. Maybe it’s in person, speaking in front of a crowd or a group. A lot of us have felt these moments of shyness, and we’ve been taught to just push through, or that it’s not okay, that something’s broken. And even if you’re the most extroverted person in the world, there’s been a moment where you have felt a little shy.
And so that’s why this conversation is so essential and important. It’s with Nadia Feiner. She is a best-selling author. You might have read her book, Shy and Mighty. She also has Quiet Riot. She’s got books that she’s made in for kids. She’s currently working on her next one. And what I love about her story is she was in this business world and she had to put herself into these situations where she was constantly visible. And the more she did it, the more she realized.
That it’s okay to be her, that it’s okay to be a little bit different in how you show up. I’ll see you inside.
Welcome to her first three years. From breakdowns to blenders, learn what worked and what didn’t. I’m your host Sardet and whether you’re a new entrepreneur or you’re just starting something new, this is your space to learn and feel a little less alone. I’ll see you inside.
Nadia Finer (01:29)
As I grew my business and took it more online, there was this pressure to show up and be seen and and I you know, I struggled with it, and I just remember this one day I was giving a talk ⁓ to some teenage girls. It was at some sort of conference, there were literally hundreds of them, it was massive, and I had to send they were passing the mic around or sort of s I thought they would, but you had to actually sort of want the mic. So no one kind of gave
gave you the mic. You had to almost like scramble for the microphone to say something and minutes were passing and I didn’t say anything. And I was just feeling very shy and I guess afraid. And I just didn’t know what to do. Everyone else was on them on the you know, in the row with me was very alpha, very confident, very sure of themselves. And I
knew I knew what I wanted to say but I just didn’t feel like I had the voice like I could do it. Eventually I did. I got the microphone and I was looking at these girls and I just thought, ⁓ do you know what? I they need to see me. Like they need to see that not everyone sounds the same and not everybody is a loud, confident person and even if you’re not you can still say stuff. So I did it.
I was really nervous and sweaty and I did it and then afterwards it just led me down this whole kind of line of thinking about why I couldn’t do it. I don’t think I’d even named the feeling. I just felt like it wasn’t quite for me. And then I realized eventually, not being that self aware, I was like, I think I’m shy, like maybe I’m shy, like is that what’s going on here? Like aged forty, I finally figured it out.
Like I wasn’t broken and there wasn’t really anything wrong with me. I wasn’t weird. I was just feeling shy. And I so I started to talk about it in my work and ⁓ and it snowballed from there really because no one talks about being shy because they’re shy. It’s obvious, right? So and I, you know, I hadn’t even like understood that was what was happening for me personally, but it
Once I started articulating it and explaining how it felt and how it impacted my life and my business and everything, I found that people wanted to hear more. So I was invited on the radio and and then I got publishing deals from being on the radio because I think I sound a cer you know, I have a a distinctive kind of voice and I was talking about this thing that no one really speaks of.
And it it yeah, it went from there really. But that was you know, that was like eight or nine years ago that that yeah, that was a while ago now. So it began. It kind of snowballed organically and and just focused on on writing books and talking to kids mainly and grown ups, I guess, about feeling like this and how it maybe holds you back and what you can do about it.
Chardét Ryel (04:32)
Did you always know that you were shy? Like did you when you were growing up, did you have a sense of it?
Nadia Finer (04:40)
Yeah, I had a sense of massive self consciousness, but I didn’t ever no one said, you’re shy and I didn’t know I was shy. And there’s a few defining moments, like and I think it all for me it’s a self consciousness around my voice, I think, and probably my body as well. I don’t even know. Like I remember a few things, like firstly, when I was about five, no, maybe seven, ⁓ I remember this woman telling my mum that
There was something she could do about my voice. Like if they sent me off to somewhere, they’d like be able to fix me. But I didn’t really understand what she was saying ’cause I was seven and I didn’t know how I sounded, so I just kind of remem like I can recall that, but I didn’t really react to it at the time. And then when I was a bit older, when I was a teenager, I was in a French lesson to talk into the mic and then you
replayed what you’d said and I’d never done it before, so I said some stuff in French, press play to listen back to it, and I heard these words Who’s that? And then I was like, wait, hang on. That’s actually me? ⁓ my god What What I sound so weird, like no one told me. How did no one tell me? And then I just freaked out, but again
In those days, I don’t know, we didn’t talk about stuff like this, so I just freaked out quietly. And I think the reason that I never s knew this about me was because we didn’t have phones, I wasn’t videoing myself, I wasn’t on Instagram, like nothing like that existed. So this was aged fourteen, like the first time I’d really heard myself. And I was so embarrassed and full of like shame about it that I
just like made these decisions, some like limiting decisions, and didn’t tell anyone about them, just kept them to myself, decided, okay, I can’t ring anyone I don’t know on the phone because if they don’t see me, they won’t know who I am. And they’ll think, ⁓ sh you know, who is that? Some little kid? I
won’t leave any voicemail messages, I’ll never go on the stage, I’ll never be in like a performance of any kind. Like I like, you know, decided all this stuff. And I just like carried on doing that for ages and it impacted me through school. Like if I got a prize, I never went to collect it, I again like would just put the phone down when there’s a voicemail mess I mean I still do that, which is really ridiculous. And luckily you can WhatsApp people now so you don’t have to actually speak to anyone.
And what else? Like at university it was you know, things like at university you’d go round the table and wait for your turn to speak and by the time it came to me I was like in some sort of panic about it even though I knew what I wanted to say and then at work I dunno I felt there were conditions where I was okay. So this is interesting for our conversation, like
In a team, when I’ve got backup and I’ve got like it’s like being in a family almost. I feel kind of invincible, like if I’m under, you know, a really supportive manager, for example, I can give that presentation, I can go and talk to whoever. But where I find it very challenging is when it’s just me on my own and I feel very isolated and like people are judging me.
‘Cause that’s what shyness is, is a fear of being judged or a fear of uncertainty. So that would happen with new people, new situations, new ⁓ environ like new environments, new challenges. You’re like, Ooh, am I gonna you know, will I be good enough? Are they gonna be looking at me? Are they gonna judge me? They’re gonna laugh at me, but you know, I’m gonna mess it up. So there’s those thoughts.
Instead of thinking all that’s not made for me or I’m not good enough and you know I can’t possibly do that, you’re like no, I feel shy today. Fifty seven percent of people feel shy in Britain, and on average it’s forty percent around the world, and that’s okay. And if you go to Japan, it’s seventy percent of people. Like you suddenly think okay, it’s alright, like this is a normal human reaction designed to keep us safe from danger. It’s just
You know, there’s no danger if you’re showing up on Instagram. Like that’s kind of not a dangerous particularly thing to do, so therefore you can do it. I’m able to rationalise it. Gosh, I’ve waffled for ages, sorry.
Chardét Ryel (09:31)
No, I would say that you actually expressed so much of what I think a lot of people listening feel as well, especially the idea that when you think about the way you define shy, maybe some people listening didn’t think that they were shy, but then they noticed this, especially when it comes to showing up online. I think that really comes out where you’re on your own, like you said, you’re isolated, you don’t have the team to back you up.
You’re talking to strangers, which are not always as warm as people who know you. It’s scary. I did the same thing. I avoided going online showing my face for the first six or seven years of my business. Like I did not want to show my face. I did not want to speak. And I get it. I I really understand. And I think it’s really amazing that you have researched it. You talk about it. And you also go and talk to kids about it.
So they can understand there’s nothing broken.
Nadia Finer (10:31)
Yeah, I think so with the kids, ⁓ it’s very interesting. When I go into a school and I talk to the kids, I’ll say, you know, hands up if you’ve ever felt shy. And pretty much all of them put their hands up. And then you say, Well, how many of you have ever told anyone that you sometimes feel shy? And it’ll be like two people. In the book I published last year, The Quiet Riot, where ⁓ it has stories of
famous a lot of famous people who are shy who are shy or were shy. And you read about say Beyonce or Leonor Messi and you think, hang on, it’s okay. Like they’re cool and it’s okay to feel like this. I think that would have really helped me. So yeah, I do go into schools and talk a lot to kids and I really love it. And then in terms of like
the business side of things and showing up online and you know when you do your posts it’s like you need to edit these videos rather than just writing some stuff. It does feel like pressure to be seen a lot. And I’m gonna share a quote with you which just really helped me. So it’s a Joseph Campbell quote and I’m sure I’ve like saying it slightly wrong but I’ll try my best. So it’s the cave which you fear to enter
Holds the treasure you seek. If you think about it for a minute, you’re like, okay, what am I afraid of? Well and we all know like I know that I hate doing videos and I don’t want to do them, but I know that if I do them I’m gonna get way more engagement and that’s gonna grow my audience, right? I know it. So it’s often the thing like when you think about it, the thing you’re putting off and that was kind of how I started a podcast back in the day, was yeah, like
The voice is the thing for me that’s scary and yet like when I did it that was that kind of led to so many things. So I just I guess I kind of challenge you in a way to think about that thing like what are you afraid of what are you putting off? And is it the thing, is it like the key that’s gonna unlock everything for you?
Chardét Ryel (12:42)
The thing that you were saying in all of this that really feels good is that accepting that it’s okay to have this, because I think a lot of us, you said yourself even, like we feel that we’re supposed to grow out of it or we’re supposed to push through it. ⁓ that’s I w I was completely shy as you were, but I felt like I had to force myself to be different. And
It worked, but it wasn’t comfortable, right? Because you’re you still it’s still underlying there. It’s still there and you still feel it a little bit. And I I just wonder how many people, if they knew that it’s okay that you feel this, that Beyonce feel this, felt this, that Taylor Swift felt this, that maybe it would be not so much forcing yourself to show up as understanding that it’s normal and you’re just gonna slowly like inch towards, you know, that cave that you’re talking about.
Nadia Finer (13:38)
Yeah, I think the sort of acknowledging it’s okay and being kind to yourself. So I think it’s really tempting to just beat yourself up, I wish I was different, I’m gonna have to fake it and you know, I’m not good enough, everyone else can do it, that kind of stuff. It’s not very helpful to be like that. So I try and be compassionate and just be like, Okay, I’ve done a talk today in a school, it was cute, but now I literally cannot speak to another person.
Some people can do that. Some people can do three talks in a day. Some people feel fine. Let them go off and do that if they want to, but I’m not gonna do that. So I think it’s just don’t deliberately avoid the thing that you know will help you. That’s my advice. Be kind to yourself when you’re doing the things. You know, you take a long time to build your muscles and then when you look back on when you started and you think, God
Now I can, you know, bench press fifty, sixty kilos, whatever, and that before I could only do ten. So I’ve like built up to it. Actually I don’t think I can do fix fifty or sixty more. So I do boxing. That’s my other thing I do is I teach boxing and I I do b you know, it’s my hobby. Over the years it’s become kind of more normal. Like the idea of teaching boxing to often to men as well, like
And being the only girl in the room and standing there and bossing them around, I’m like, How did I actually just do that? Yeah, okay. I need to lie down now and not speak to anyone. But like I did it, it was fine. ‘Cause I built up to it really gradually. So I think that’s important. We sometimes look at stuff and think, I wanna do that. And we haven’t broken it down in terms of, okay, so if you wanna speak to an arena full of people
Right now you can’t even like phone someone you don’t know. How are you gonna build up to it? What is the plan? Literally make a plan of steps. There’s kind of strategy involved. It doesn’t just randomly happen.
Chardét Ryel (15:44)
Yeah, I think it’s a bit dramatic if you just jump into saying, like, I wanna be like Mel Robbins, but I don’t wanna do a real just yet. It’s like you have to do it. There was something you said which I just kept thinking, like, she’s so right. ⁓ when you were talking about the small steps that you recommend for people to try, for instance, just writing your speech maybe is the first thing because that’s the most safe feeling. I think
Nadia Finer (15:53)
Yeah, it’s too much.
I
think you have to find your own steps, the things that are gonna work for you, and then also like don’t beat yourself up. Some people might be able to ad hot the ad lib, I think it’s ad lib like just randomly off the cuff say a bunch of really smart things. Maybe you need bullet points written down when you’re in a meeting or when you’re giving a presentation or when you’re doing an interview. Write them down.
It’s fine. Never feel kind of ashamed or apologetic for who you are. Like I used to want to change myself. I felt like I was broken or there was something wrong with me and I needed to be more like that person who is the things that I’m not. But now I realise actually, you know, the way I am is pretty cool and we need people like me. I it shouldn’t need to be
Completely different. I just maybe need some help sometimes with certain things that I find difficult, but you know, everyone has a thing that they struggle with.
Chardét Ryel (17:16)
For you, maybe this speaking in front of tons of people was really scary, but maybe for someone else it’s even just relating one on one with someone. They don’t know how to go deeper and that’s terrifying for them. Or for them it is maybe they’re fine with their voice, they feel great about their voice, but maybe they actually feel really uncomfortable physically seeing people in person.
Nadia Finer (17:39)
I think that’s so true and it it goes so we shouldn’t apologize for who we are, but then also we can take control. That’s the other thing is taking control of the situation. Instead of always thinking like this is the world that I live in or this is the business that I’m in or the way everyone does it is this and it’s not really working for me, but I can’t really say anything about it. Well what can we do differently? What works for us? So for me
I’m not shy talking to you particularly. I was nervous about it, but now that we’re talking, it’s fine because there’s one of you and you’re nice and we’re having a little chat and I feel like I can be myself and I’m not really thinking about anybody else listening. ⁓ so it’s okay. Well I am, but I’m sort of trying not to like panic about that. If you’re someone who thrives on like deeper face to face conversations, maybe you’re someone who has
friends like one friend at a time, you know, maybe that’s you. Like that is me. Like I struggle in a group situation. I feel like it’s a bit tricky. Whereas like I’d much rather meet one or two friends for coffee in a quiet place and I feel like that’s fine. So I do more of that.
Chardét Ryel (18:51)
I think that’s the biggest reason why people really struggle to grow, especially in creative fields or entrepreneurship, is trying to force this model, this pinnacle of someone they see. They’re trying to ⁓ emulate them. They’re trying to force it, like you’re saying. And yeah, it’s not the same. Like I see people who do podcasts all the time and everyone does it really differently. Some people do no video, some people do a bit scripted, some people like conversations.
Some people don’t wanna do a podcast and they just wanna write it down and that is when they really shine.
Nadia Finer (19:26)
Exactly. So whether you’re a writer or an artist or an entrepreneur, whatever it is, you know, think about so we said about the cave, like if you’re honest with yourself, like what is the thing in the cave? Like that’s interesting to explore. But then it’s also like okay, so what can I consistently do without burning out, without giving myself a panic attack, without just feeling like totally irked and like uncomfortable.
If you look at my socials you’ll think she isn’t really doing very much well so it’s okay to also take a break and so this the thing is I’m like currently writing so I’m in this sort of I’m in like the writing mindset and I’m just really enjoying myself and I’m connecting with real people and I’m doing a masters and I’m just having a great time with it and I don’t need to be online particularly during that. It’s fine. There’s no rules, you don’t have to do it.
Chardét Ryel (20:23)
Well, you’ve got the the successful books to prove that that’s fine. So I think that it’s inspiring. ⁓ let me ask you, because I think that it is really helpful to read what you’ve written. And also for anyone listening who has kids or nieces or nephews or just in their family that might fit under feeling shy, it’s really helpful to read what you’ve written. So can you share where people can find your books?
Nadia Finer (20:49)
Go online and find them in the usual places like Amazon or Bookshop Online or something like that, and I’ll just show you quickly which ones they are Shy and Mighty and then this is the quiet riot and this is the one with the bedtime stories of people some of whom you’ve heard of, some of whom you won’t have heard of, so yeah, there’s loads of bedtime stories to inspire quieter young people to realise they’re not broken and that they can do big things too.
Chardét Ryel (21:18)
We’re gonna include links to your books, so anyone listening if you want those for yourself or for kids that you know, people that you know, and then also your website so they can get in touch. Thank you for being here and doing video with me. I feel really I feel really honored now that I feel the fact that
Nadia Finer (21:36)
The lucky I did it, I was like, ⁓ no, no But the thing is it’s fine because below the waist I’ve got my slippers and my tracksuit buttons on, so it’s fine.
Chardét Ryel (21:47)
And thank you so much for listening. Please, please share this one with all of the shy people in your life. Be they parents of shy kids, maybe some older shy kids. You know, we kept this pretty PG, so I I think you could share it. Or just you yourself, if you want to listen a little bit more. I think all of us, like Nadia said, we have felt a little bit uncomfortable with putting ourselves out there with different situations and understanding that that’s okay.
In figuring out where your lines and your boundaries are gonna be is so much more empowering than just saying, well, I’ve gotta be like everyone else. So I hope this inspired you. I hope you connect with Nadia because she’s just such an inspiring person. And I will see you in the next one. If you laugh, learned,
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