Topics: Public Speaking Tips for Entrepreneurs, Storytelling, Brand Voice, Imposter Syndrome
Public Speaking Confidence on Stage or on Camera….
Have you ever wished you could walk on stage (or hit “record” on a video) and instantly light up the room?
I sit down with the award-winning speaker and public speaking coach Aleya Harris, author of Spark the Stage.
Think about what might happen if you spoke from a place of deep purpose rather than letting the fear of judgment hold you back.
Aleya’s STEAM method shows you exactly how to organize a talk that grabs attention and keeps listeners hooked.
Ready to uncover the speaker within you and open the door to new business opportunities?
You’ll hear how:
- You Can Ditch the Ego and Speak with Purpose
Aleya reveals why making your message about serving the audience—not proving your expertise—quashes nerves and unlocks your most magnetic presence.
- A Simple STEAM Method Keeps Crowds Engaged
Story, Teaching, Experience, Action, and Main Idea (STEAM) form Aleya’s go-to structure for speeches that people can’t stop talking about.
- Authenticity Sparks Viral Connection
From stage fright to postpartum depression, Aleya shares how she calls on her true self (and a higher power) to deliver the words that resonate with any audience, from corporate conference rooms to online masterminds.
🎧 Listen and let Aleya’s energy show you exactly how to “spark the stage”—and your business!
LISTEN TO NEXT: Finding Your Voice
My episode on Aleya’s Podcast: https://www.aleyaharris.com/podcast-episodes/115
RESOURCES
Instagram:@chardetryel
Sign up for the priority waitlist to launch YOUR successful podcast
MORE ABOUT THIS PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT PODCAST EPISODE
“Anybody in that audience could get up on the stage and tell a story that would make all of us cry, laugh, and jump around if they were given the proper direction.” – Aleya Harris, author of Spark the Stage
Connect with Aleya Harris:
Website: https://www.aleyaharris.com/
Book: https://www.aleyaharris.com/book
Podcast: https://www.aleyaharris.com/podcast
- How do I overcome my fear of judgment when speaking to an audience?
- How can I project confidence—even if I’m feeling nervous or insecure?
- How can I channel genuine energy, rather than forcing excitement I don’t truly feel?
- What are some practical ways to engage my audience?
Have you ever felt your heart race just thinking about speaking in front of an audience? Do fears of judgment hold you back from sharing your story? If so, you’re not alone. Public speaking can be daunting, but what if you could transform that anxiety into powerful engagement and authentic connection?
In the latest episode of Her First Three Years, I had the incredible opportunity to chat with Aleya Harris, an award-winning public speaking coach and the author of Spark the Stage. Aleya’s insights are nothing short of transformative, offering a fresh perspective on how to approach public speaking with confidence and authenticity. Whether you’re stepping onto a grand stage or sharing your message online, Aleya’s wisdom can help you shine.
Overcoming the Fear of Judgment in Public Speaking
Fear of judgment is a common hurdle for many aspiring speakers. Aleya candidly shares her experience, saying, “Fear of judgment. Audience is going to rise up with pitchforks and come and maim you on stage. Like that is how it feels, right?” This vivid imagery perfectly captures the intense anxiety that often accompanies public speaking. But Aleya offers a powerful solution: shift your focus from how you’re perceived to the value you’re delivering. By prioritizing your message over your fears, you can transform nervous energy into meaningful engagement with your audience.
Shifting from Ego to Service: The Key to Powerful Public Speaking
One of the biggest mistakes Aleya highlights is the tendency to center the speaking engagement around oneself. She points out, “The biggest mistake that most speakers make is thinking that because they’re the ones with the microphone and the cute dress… The speaking engagement is not about you.” Instead of worrying about how you look or sound, Aleya encourages speakers to focus on serving their audience. This shift from ego to service not only reduces anxiety but also makes your message more impactful and relatable.
Engaging Your Audience with the STEAM Method
Aleya introduces the STEAM method—Story, Teaching, Experience, Action, Main Idea—as her go-to structure for crafting engaging speeches. “Story, Teaching, Experience, Action, and Main Idea (STEAM) form Aleya’s go-to structure for speeches that people can’t stop talking about.” This method ensures that your talk is organized, clear, and keeps your listeners hooked from start to finish. By weaving together relatable stories, valuable lessons, interactive experiences, actionable steps, and a strong main idea, you create a presentation that resonates deeply with your audience.
Authenticity in Public Speaking: Let Your True Self Shine
Authenticity is at the heart of Aleya’s approach to public speaking. She emphasizes, “Channel authentic energy, don’t force it.” Speaking from a place of honesty and intention allows your natural spark to shine through, making your message more genuine and powerful. Aleya believes that letting go of perfection and embracing your true self not only enhances your connection with the audience but also makes your presentations more memorable and impactful.
Recognizing Not Everyone Will Be Your Audience
Embracing the fact that not everyone will connect with your message is liberating. Aleya wisely notes, “Anybody in that audience could get up on the stage and tell a story that would make all of us cry, laugh, and jump around if they were given the proper direction.” By accepting that some people won’t resonate with your style or content, you can focus more on those who truly need and appreciate your message. This perspective fosters a more confident and targeted approach to public speaking, ensuring that you reach the hearts and minds that matter most.
The Importance of Inner Work Between Speaking
Public speaking isn’t just about what happens on stage; it’s also about the work you do behind the scenes. Aleya shares, “Do the inner work between speaking engagements.” Building confidence, refining your style, and nurturing your mindset are crucial for continuous growth as a speaker. By investing time in personal development and preparation, you ensure that each presentation is better than the last, allowing you to deliver your message with greater clarity and impact.
Practical Tips for Boosting Audience Engagement
Keeping your audience engaged can be challenging, but Aleya offers practical techniques to maintain their attention. She explains, “You’re giving knowledge and most importantly, you’re embedding that knowledge into your audience member just enough so when they leave, they will take action on the information you gave. That’s it.” Incorporating interactive elements like guided visualizations, audience participation, and tangible actions ensures that your listeners remain involved and invested in your message. These strategies not only enhance engagement but also make your presentations more dynamic and effective.
Embracing Your Unique Speaking Style
Aleya’s journey to becoming a powerful speaker wasn’t about imitating others but about developing her unique style. “I developed a unique way of speaking, developed this workshop, which is what my course started off as…” By staying true to her authentic self and focusing on serving her audience, Aleya created a speaking style that stands out. Embracing your individuality not only sets you apart but also makes your message more relatable and impactful.
Channeling Energy Without Relying on Visual Feedback
In today’s digital age, many speakers face the challenge of engaging virtual audiences. Aleya addresses this by saying, “When you channel, you don’t need to see your audience because people end up tripping up when it comes to like virtual presentations.” Focusing on channeling your energy and message, rather than seeking visual validation, allows you to connect more deeply with your audience, whether they’re in the room or watching online. This approach ensures that your message remains powerful and authentic, regardless of the medium.
Essentially…
Public speaking is a journey of growth, authenticity, and meaningful connection. Aleya Harris’s insights offer a roadmap to overcoming fear, embracing your true self, and engaging your audience with purpose and passion. By shifting your mindset from ego to service, utilizing the STEAM method, and committing to inner work, you can transform your public speaking experience and make a lasting impact.
Are you ready to let your voice shine and take your public speaking to the next level? Tune in to the full episode of Her First Three Years with Aleya Harris and discover how to spark the stage.
Further Resources and Next Steps
If you’re inspired by Aleya’s approach and want to dive deeper, don’t miss her book, Spark the Stage, available on Amazon.
Share your own public speaking experiences and questions in the comments below—we’d love to hear how Aleya’s insights have impacted your journey!
JOIN PODCAST ALCHEMY WAITLIST HERE TO LAUNCH YOUR PODCAST
FULL TRANSCRIPT WITH ALEYA HARRIS (SPARK THE STAGE) BELOW:
Chardét: [00:00:00] Let’s talk storytelling and public speaking. Now, whether you’re doing it on a stage in front of thousands of people, or you’re just doing it online, or even in a prerecorded video, you need to be able to speak confidently and to engage your audience, and that’s not exactly done the way you think it is.
So I have a great conversation here with you. All about this, how you can come across powerfully and how you can come across uniquely to stand out. I’m speaking to the host of the award winning podcast, the flourishing entrepreneur, Aaliyah Harris. I’ve been on her show. We’ll link that episode as well.
And she is also the author of the bestselling book, spark the stage and the program, which it’s based on. So we’re going to talk all about how do you really come across powerfully? When you are on stage, when you are telling your story, there’s lots of laughs in this. You will definitely feel inspired as well.
So if you’re having one of those days where you [00:01:00] think I don’t know how to show up in my business at work, save this for that. You’re going to feel extremely motivated by the end of this episode. I’ll see you inside.
I want to give you a huge, big welcome to her first three years. Welcome to this side of the mic. I know you are a master podcaster, but I’m excited to ask you all the questions today.
Aleya Harris: Yes, I’m excited too. I love being, well, I love being on both sides of the mic. I love a mic. So there’s that. Exciting because I had you on my podcast, the flourishing entrepreneur, and now I get to be on yours, which is wonderful.
Chardét: And you’re on with a really new big development, which is you have your book that you’ve published. We’re going to talk all about it because two things I love that most of us really struggle with are storytelling and stage presence and being up there and having those eyes on us, whether they’re virtually or in person.
So I’m excited to hear about [00:02:00] How you got into it. I don’t know if I know this story and then also everything in the book.
Aleya Harris: It’s funny. I would love to tell you that I had some like, Oh, and then someone pushed me on a stage and I wasn’t ready. And I excelled. I just don’t remember ever not talking.
Communicating, speaking, I think is my preferred mode of communication. So I think about the first time I was on stage professionally, an accident sort of, it was like a fluke. I had applied to speak and then at this big conference called CaterSource and the organizer, Kathleen was like, um, thanks so much for sending me your info.
We are already booked up this year. Uh, try again next year. And I was like, okay, no problem. And then she like emailed me back, like a couple of weeks after that, she goes, actually, this never happens, but someone quit. So can you fill in? And I’m like, I can, I absolutely can. [00:03:00] And you know, and I think about that moment of Kathleen taking a chance on me, which she really didn’t have to.
CaterSource is a huge conference. Thousands of people go, I’m sure hundreds of people apply to speak. So she had. A pool of people that she could have already chosen by men for some reason that day, Kathleen decided to pick me. And then from there it was, it was history. I just kept speaking more and more.
I got a publicist. She put me on more stages and speaking has become the number one way for me to generate revenue for my business. So it’s. Amazing.
Chardét: This is why we want to speak to you because there are so many people in this space. It’s not the main way that they’re making revenue though. So that’s why I think there’s something so authentic about what you’re doing is you’re coaching on this, but it’s also the main way that you’ve grown.
And if anyone watches your videos afterwards, there’s going to be no doubt in their minds about why you are the person to follow. Follow. But do you remember when you got on that stage? Cause to me, it’s [00:04:00] wild to think about not having done much. I guess you always were a speaker and a storyteller, but not having been on a real big, huge stage and then going into thousands of people, did you feel any fear?
Did you just feel excitement, electricity? Like what was it like?
Aleya Harris: Remember rehearsing a lot more for that presentation than I do. Now because I didn’t, and that’s not because I’m like, I’ll just get up there and wing it. I’m so fabulous. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I take every Engagement super seriously, but I don’t rehearse in the way that I did because I have a new level of confidence Um, and I speak differently.
I didn’t have anybody guiding me how to speak I had someone who helped me put together my presentation and make sure I didn’t sound like ridiculous, but I was nervous. And what I realized is that nerves come from a couple of things. One, fear of judgment. Two, lack of clarity. So, [00:05:00] when you are not clear, and you don’t feel crystal hyper clear on what you’re saying, who you’re talking to, and that you know you have a message that you can deliver.
You’re going to be nervous because you’re feeling unprepared. And then the second piece is fear of judgment. Audience is going to rise up with pitchforks and come and maim you on stage. Like that is how it feels, right? But I promise that will never happen. But that is how your nervous system feels because what will they think of me?
What will they do? And you begin to Catastrophize a little bit. You also begin to blow out of proportion how their opinions of you and how much they actually matter, which is not not much. Their opinion of you is almost non consequential. Biggest mistake that most speakers make is thinking that because they’re the ones with the microphone and the cute dress.
In the spotlight that the speaking engagement is about them. The speaking engagement is not about you. The speaking engagement is [00:06:00] about every single audience member and the transformation that you are able to facilitate for them in the group experience, which is your session. You are only on stage and you’re only on the microphone because there’s a lot of people and they wouldn’t be able to hear you otherwise or see you otherwise.
But it’s not because you are, as a human, more important or better or special. Anybody in that audience could get up on the stage and tell a story that would make all of us cry, laugh, and jump around if they were given the proper direction. Anybody in that audience is an expert in something. So you just so happen to be the expert that’s on the stage today.
You’re the one who got selected, you’re the one who did the work, and then maybe next time they’ll, you’ll be in the audience and someone that you spoke with will be on the stage. Taking that pressure off of, oh, I have to be special, I have to be important, I have to be an expert, I have to look like I know what I’m doing.
Not really. You just need to facilitate the experience. Right? You’re giving [00:07:00] knowledge and most importantly, you’re embedding that knowledge into your audience member just enough so when they leave, they will take action on the information you gave. That’s it. So when you get on stage and you’re nervous, ask yourself if you’re being a little egotistical with the most love, are you making it about yourself?
Are you so afraid of them judging you that you’re forgetting why you’re there in the first place? Or are you just unprepared? And unprepared doesn’t mean you don’t have your slides or you haven’t rehearsed, but ask yourself. What exactly am I afraid? Am I afraid of fumbling on this one part? Well, no one will know if you cut the slide and just saying no one’s seen it.
It’s fine. Do you remove it? Do you rehearse it? Do you change it? And then will you feel better? Because it’s often small things that make us nervous on stage. It’s not a total lack of, of confidence in all parts of our lives. And if you start to become familiar with that fear, with [00:08:00] that lack of confidence, with that lack of clarity, and begin to ask it, questions.
You’ll be able to pinpoint exactly what you need to adjust and not let it be this overwhelming ball of horribleness that keeps you from being on the stage.
Chardét: You said exactly what I was thinking was for me too. The biggest switch was when it stops being that ego about me and how I come across and me being the expert and me looking like all the Ted people and me being this, and it was the, how am I helping this person that completely changes it.
And I think this is true. Not just if you’re speaking to thousands of people on a stage, but even if you’re speaking on Instagram or your podcast, like it’s not about you. It’s about. The people who hear you and I love to what you were saying about the getting rid of the slide or focusing on the details because I know I’ve a lot of times with conversations, I will record them and look at the transcript and I kid you not, I didn’t hear 30 percent of those words.
Aleya Harris: No one does. [00:09:00] No one does. No one does. In fact, that’s why in my book, Spark the Stage, which you should buy on Amazon, it’s shameless plug, there’ll be several of those in this presentation. We’re here for it. I talk about, um, a radical spark signature talk and I give an outline for it. And I use, um, what’s called the steam method, which by the way, I Made up because I had to go back and look at my presentations and feel like why they were successful.
I didn’t really used to watch other people speak. I was busy and would have rather like gone and gotten lunch with friends. And then truthfully, if I’m really brutally honest, most speakers are bad. So I’m like, I could sit in this room and be bored and have to fake smile because they can see my face. And I just met them in the lobby or cocktails.
And I usually chose
Chardét: cocktails. So. But can I ask you real quick, did you, do you listen to, in the beginning, did you listen to your speeches or watch [00:10:00] them after you did them?
Aleya Harris: Not really, because most of them weren’t, weren’t filmed. I knew that I did good because people would come up to me afterwards, hugging me in tears, asking me questions.
I accidentally developed something that was, was different because I wasn’t watching everybody else and I wasn’t trying to assimilate to what they were doing. I got, for me, enough feedback that I was doing great. I kept getting booked. I kept being able to raise my rates. I kept getting people sending me emails even a year later talking about how, what they learned and how it’s changed their lives.
I’m like, that’s good enough for me. I developed a unique way of speaking, developed this workshop, which is what my course started off as. It’s just a four week workshop and see if anybody buys it. And they did, which was cool. And for that workshop, I had to figure out how to teach them. To be me without teaching them how to speak like me, because I have a very unique personality, and I don’t need a bunch of alayas running around.[00:11:00]
First of all, that’s odd and creepy. And second of all, it won’t get anybody where they need to go. Remember, we’re of service. The only time you should produce content or talk to people is when you can actually help them. And creating a bunch of alayas just means I create a bunch of people that are competing against themselves.
So I said, how do I take what I do and make it work no matter what your style or your story is? So I developed a methodology, which again, you will find in Spark the Stage available on Amazon. And the outline that I have, a chunk of it is using the STEAM method, which was an acronym that formed, and I was super excited because it’s always cool when an acronym makes a word.
Just happened to make a word. I was like, the little things in life, Sade. It’s the little things in life. So when you get on stage, you should STEAM Your audience three times. Story, teaching, experience, action, main idea, steam. If you do that, you will have an engaged audience. You tell [00:12:00] a relevant story that is definitely related to what the heck you’re talking about.
Don’t just tell, like, some random story. This is not Thanksgiving and you are not someone’s uncle who people just cannot wait till they fall asleep on the couch so that we can have a normal people conversation. This is not this. Tell a story. Teach related to the story. What were the lessons? Okay. So I, let’s say my story was about my postpartum depression and how to get out of it.
One of the biggest things I did was asking for help and people say, Oh, asking for help is just easy. Like, Hey, help me. But it’s not. So here’s some research that shows how to ask for help. Here’s some research that shows how you’re blocking on how to ask for help. Here’s some technical ways to do it.
Here’s some phraseology to use, right? That’s teaching. Then you have an experience. You have an in room experience because people could only listen to you talk for so long. It’s not, again, you’re not that interesting. I am not that interesting. I’m not digging on you. I am not that interesting. No one is that interesting.
In the audience, you are talking to narcissists with short attention spans. Is it [00:13:00] about me? Can you make it about me five minutes ago? Is it going to be about me five minutes from now? So if you just talk at them without them doing anything back to you for an hour Guaranteed all of the things that could distract them will distract them I mean everything from the dirt under their fingernails to their device To them thinking about their bills to them thinking about oh, I really like that Chick or dude in the front row.
I wonder if I can ask for their number. Literally anything, because their minds will find something that is more interesting than you. So, in order to prevent that from happening, you get on stage. And you engage with them. So I do things like guided visualizations, uh, calling a response, raising your hands, shouting on one side of the room versus the other side of the room, right?
Whatever you can do to make it so that they are engaged, you do so that they get to use their mouths or their [00:14:00] bodies to interact with your presentation. And then you give them something to do. And remember you’re steaming them three times in your three different sections that are related to your three main points.
When you give them your, their action, it is tangible, something that they’re doing outside of the room. E, the experience is inside of the room. A, the action is outside of the room. Journal prompts, like, oh, I produced my very first speaking event where I was a speaker, but I was also a producer. And one of the speakers had this harrowing story about how her aunt had burned herself alive.
And it was just like this, Whole thing all because of money. She didn’t have enough money to do all this. I’m not going to take it The the the thunder away from her story, but it was all because of money And so her action at the end was her aunt’s name was Alice create an Alice fund so that you Never have to be in any horrible situation or feel any horrible things for lack of money So that’s a really great action to take At the end, M is to reiterate your main idea, [00:15:00] the main idea of the section and how it relates to the main idea of the whole presentation to give your audience markers on what, where they are, what they’re doing and how long they have left to listen to you.
Let’s again, take your ego out of it. You all have sat in audiences before, right? Like sometimes you’re like, Oh my God, I didn’t even know time went by. That’s rare. Rare. Most of the time you’re like, when’s lunch? When are the cocktails? Right? So give your, let your audience know, don’t, don’t be fake about it.
You have point one, point two, point three. Now we’re on point one. Now let’s move on to my second point out of my three points so that they know. They know how much longer they have to pay attention to you, because it’s hard. I know we look like adults and we have our cute little suits on or makeup or whatever.
We got our eyelashes done, whatever it is, but we’re really all toddlers. Like that attention span is just not as long as we would like to give ourselves credit for. So by reiterating the main idea and telling people where you are in your story and in your presentation, you’re going to capture them much [00:16:00] longer because they know how much willpower they need to expend on you.
Chardét: I love it because this method is amazing anyways, because it’s easy to understand. You repeat it through three sections. Also, I really appreciate the attention span thing. I used to be a fitness instructor, and even when I had people moving their bodies, listening to music, I would still say things like, In our last 15 minutes, in this last five minutes, we have five seconds to go.
Like, I would do this again and again because the pacing is so key. People need to know when you’re done.
Aleya Harris: People need to know when you’re done. They need to know when they are done. And it’s funny because they act like most of the time they’re just going right into another session, but it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. They need to know when they’re done with you.
Chardét: The feedback that you got from your speeches that made you think it was a is, was unique. You know, things like, Oh, that went really fast. Or while you brought the imagery forward, like what were some of the things that people were saying to you that you [00:17:00] recognized were different or less common than.
What when most people speak
Aleya Harris: the number one piece of feedback that I get is that I have a lot of Energy number one. I have energy. I love your energy I at first I was like that’s an odd thing because what I wanted to be known for was being an I’m a marketing expert, love me for my brain, love me for my information, and my cute outfit, secondary.
I am a smart expert. That’s what I wanted to be known for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The information is good, but no one really says that, but almost every time it’s about my energy and I was starting to believe like, Oh, maybe this is my energy until one day I was in the bowels of postpartum depression and I had a speaking engagement and I was bawling my eyes out in my room, wipe my face and I put on my cute little dress, put my makeup [00:18:00] on and went down to speak.
Spoke went fine. I was, you know, felt like I was on that stage pulling in my ancestors back thousands of years to get me through that presentation. Right? And maybe I was, because when I got off stage, people said the same thing. Oh my God, we love your energy. And that was the moment when I realized the energy was not mine.
If I needed any more validation that. The energy that I had and the reason why I was there was to serve and I was channeling that energy from spirit, channeling it from my radically authentic self, channeling it from a place that knew that was the validation in that moment because there’s no way in hell.
That it was coming from me. And so when I get off stage, I know it’s going to be left behind the energy in the room from something that is bigger than me. That is what helps facilitate the transformation. That is also how [00:19:00] I teach people to speak. In my book, Spark the Stage, which you can find on Amazon and in my course, Spark the Stage, which is.
From the book, which you can go to leahharris. com slash spark, you will see that the very beginning third is all about getting real. You get real, then you get clear, then you get connected. The getting real piece. Is all about channeling, how do you remove the parts of you that are getting in the way of hearing exactly what you need to hear.
And when I get on stage, my slides, I have very few words on them in general. In general, that’s good slide. Best practice. But I do it because. I am trying to listen and feel what the people need in that room at that moment, whether the room has 20 people, whether the room has a thousand people, because I am so focused on channeling a message and an experience to be of the highest service for people in
Chardét: that
Aleya Harris: room.
Chardét: The channeling thing was what I was trying to find out from you because [00:20:00] there’s the method, which is amazing. And you’ve got to have that for your structure and figuring out how to keep people engaged. But then there’s the intangible, which is the energy. People don’t remember the words, but they do remember what was the magnetic feel you left behind.
And that’s something where I can see that we do get in our way. And you notice when someone’s an awkward speaker and it’s not because their story is not good or they don’t have a natural energy or charisma. It’s because they are letting those blocks get in the way you see in anything. Like even when you’re first meeting someone for an interview or you’re first meeting someone for a date.
You can feel when they are not channeling.
Aleya Harris: Absolutely. And you’re like, oh, okay, well, you’re putting a lot of pressure on you because people think like, oh, you channel so you don’t have to do any work. Oh, no. That is not what I said. I channel so I can do the highest work, the highest good, right? So I am there.
I [00:21:00] have practice. I’ve done the concepts. I’ve done the research, bought the dress because you gotta look good. I love the dress mention. You take some of the pressure off yourself knowing that exactly what needs to happen will happen. But you can’t make that decision for the first time ever as you step on stage.
Being a speaker is the work that happens between happening on stage. Being on stage is like the end result. All of the protection of your energy, channeling, and what I call in my book, the essence expeditions that you go on to determine who you are and to stay connected with that place and to clarify what you’re going to say and to use story and to practice story.
All of that happens in between time. If you speak and then do. Go about your business and then speak and then, you know, go about your business. You are not going to be as powerful as they speak. I can confidently say I am a powerful speaker, powerful in the sense that I facilitate transformations for people in ways [00:22:00] that other people cannot.
The only reason I know I can do that is because I do the work in the tweens, in the in between time, to make sure that that can happen. If you’re like, oh, like you’re about to step on the stage right now and you happen to be listening to this podcast, you’re like, I’m going to do it right now. Don’t. Do whatever you were going to do.
Before, and I wish you well, and then as soon as you get off stage, start doing that work because if you’re just like, I’m going to let go, let God for the first time, you’ll just draw blanks. When I let my mind open, I hear what needs to be said, and I am not special in that regard. Anybody can do that if you do the work.
Chardét: And also what you were saying too about noticing the audience and allowing that to come through too. What you’re perceiving is like, you can have the plan and you can have the energy, but if you’re not present with how they’re taking it in and what they’re giving you, you have no idea how that’s landing.
And I feel like every audience is different, even if it’s the same topic, but the same kind of person [00:23:00] it’s marketing or it’s whatever, like every audience you probably have felt. Is a little bit different in what they’re giving at you and what they’re resonating with.
Aleya Harris: That is absolutely true. And I’m going to take it one step deeper because you said, pay attention to your audience was absolutely do everyone listen to Sade.
She’s right. I’m going to take it a step deeper. When you channel, you don’t need to see your audience because people end up tripping up when it comes to like virtual presentations. Oh, I just can’t see my audience or podcasting. I just can’t see my audience. So I don’t know how to be, that means. You are relying on an external input to give you yourself.
And that’s not what we’re doing. Right? You’re noticing. And when you can notice, yes, you do shift and change. But when you’re just like, Oh no, I need to tell them, I need them to tell me basically with their energy, with their feedback, my, my own energy levels and what’s coming next. That’s that subtle difference where we start to go awry.
The beautiful thing is, [00:24:00] When you channel, and again, this is not a religious thing. You’re channeling from whatever name you’d like to say. You can say the big donut maker in the sky. I don’t care. But when you’re channeling for something that you know that is bigger than you, you know that they also know your audience.
It’s not your own personal little God that sits on your shoulder that only talks to you. Like I don’t have like a little Aaliyah that like only whispers to me and nobody else. So when you’re talking on a podcast, you’re like, well, how am I going to use Aaliyah’s advice and channel? You just, you just channel you.
That means that you need to make the shift to listening. There will be people in the audience that detest you from the moment you get on stage. I am a tall black woman who is supes cute. Like instantly that rubs people the wrong way, right? Not everybody, but some people. And I’m okay with that. I’m not your people.
But then there are some people in the audience who needed me to tell them exactly what I’m telling them in that exact moment. And that’s what I mean.
Chardét: I was in this dance class and it’s Cuban salsa and this guy comes out and he is the most [00:25:00] quirky, charismatic Brazilian guy you can imagine. He’s got his head shaved.
So there’s only a little bit of hair here and he’s wearing his bracelets and he is loud and he is fun. And I loved him instantly. I was like. I’m coming every day. I don’t care that this is inconvenient. I don’t care that there’s no structure. I’m coming every day. But I could see in that room, there were other people who are never going to go back.
Aleya Harris: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, can we just talk about that for a second? Cause that’s good marketing. People want to be everything for everyone. And they think like, well, if I can just get the masses and I’m for everyone,
Chardét: this is such a big lesson. Cause it’s so true. Like I always tried when I knew I was doing this wrong.
The layer was, I would have this thing where I was like, Oh, I don’t want to get trolls and I don’t want people to unfollow and I don’t want people to unsubscribe. And I don’t want people to not like me when I’m speaking. And then I realized the people who were liking and commenting, people that I did not align with in any way.
[00:26:00] And that was when I thought, Oh crap, that’s because I’m not being enough me. It’s so vanilla that the values. Just, it doesn’t matter. It gets everybody and that you never ever stand out that way and you don’t reach the people you need to. So I love that. You’re like, I’m going to go on stage and I’m going to be for some people and for some people I won’t be.
Aleya Harris: Exactly. And that’s how you get a brand. That’s what, when people can understand what you are and who you are and what you offer, that’s why people pick you. And that’s, yes, why some other people won’t pick you, but guess what? People who don’t pick you, you don’t really want to be there. Anyways, right? Like that’s not a place where you’re going to thrive.
It’s not going to feel good. You’re not going to love being on that stage. And I also encourage you to be open to who your people might be. I remember speaking, it was a construction industry conference, but software in the construction industry. And I’m like, I mean, this is weird, but okay. Construction industry.[00:27:00]
But did you know that the construction industry has one of the highest rates of suicide. In the country, very stressful industry. I had no idea. And they purposely brought me in because I was speaking about burnout and energy. It was almost a totally energy focused talk, which would you have thought that would have been the case in the construction industry?
I would not have, right? And not only did the people love it, but I knew I was needed in that room. Several people came up to me almost like. They were going to tell me some deep, dark secret, and they were like, whispering, and they were like, can I talk to you? Can I talk to you? And all they wanted was to make sure they could get my contact information, because they didn’t want to be seen taking notes too vigorously during my presentation, lest someone think that they were burned out and had a problem.
Even though they absolutely were of course, I gave them my contact information. We, I exchanged several [00:28:00] emails. I also made sure they knew about the suicide hotline and therapy and all that, because these were the people that needed the help and I didn’t know it, but I needed them to, I needed them to bust down any preconceived notions about where this energy that I have was going to take me in my career.
I needed it to bust down the notion that I could only work with female entrepreneurs. I needed it to bust down the notion that only black people would be following and supporting me. When I was in that room, I also, going back to what you’re saying, reading the room, I was confused on stage because some people were in it to win it and other people looked like they were like, if I breathe.
Someone will notice me, so I’m not gonna breathe, but I’m gonna stare this woman down. And I was like, and I realized it was just because those are the people that needed the most help. And then I had also, one of the people that came up to me asking me for my contact information was the person when I was on stage, I could see because they were in the front row.
They were like, Purposely [00:29:00] distracting themselves with, they were on their phone the whole time they actually tried. I could tell that they were doodling, right? That was the person who needed me the most. That was the person, 1 of the people who was like, I could not let people know how much I needed this because my boss, I was like, well, now I understand why there’s so much issue in the construction industry.
Right? So you just never know. Speak like the person that is ignoring you the most needs you the most and you will reach as many Hearts and minds as you possibly can in that room.
Chardét: I love that message I’m gonna end it with that one because I think that that says everything about what you do and I love this perspective Too of yes, you need to be you and that might alienate some people But also you cannot say that This won’t help someone right that you don’t know because it could be this message is totally different.
I’m shocked sometimes how many men listen to my feel good naked podcast for women. Like it shocks me sometimes. [00:30:00] Well, so if everyone’s been listening to this and I think most people will be like, okay, first step, I’m going to get spark the stage book on Amazon and leave a review. What is the second step you would leave them with once they’ve got your book and they’re saying I want to get on stage I want to share my stories.
I want to be there more. Step one, get the method, get the inspiration. Step two,
Aleya Harris: Do the things in the book. I’m not even trying to do a shameless plug. It’s literally a step by step guide from taking you to zero of I don’t think my story is important Do I even want to get on stage? What about this mole on my face?
Won’t everybody be staring? Two. Oh, I think I could charge 5, 000 for that. I know exactly where to go. I know exactly who to talk to. Why wouldn’t someone pick me? And the only reason why I know that that’s what happens, because that’s what happens with my course. The course Spark the Stage was first, and then the book came next.
And the book is a book version of the course, minus all of the interaction. The reason why you buy the course is to know that you’re doing the book right. [00:31:00] The reason why you, you enroll is to also get the community that comes with, with the course, right? But I didn’t hold anything back. In fact, when I wrote the book, I had to go back and adjust the course because the book was really good.
So I don’t hold anything back. That’s not my jam. So do the thing. It is literally, there are 12 actions that you take in the first step. Then every single action after that in all of the section will get you on a stage. The last thing that I want you to do, we’re talking about three things, the third thing that I want you to do after you read the book, if you do the things that are in the book, I want you to realize that you are on a new, the path that you were on before was a path of someone who didn’t either have the tools or the clarity or the confidence to move forward.
Even if you just buy the book, Oh my God, you took the first step down the path. You read the first page. Oh my God, that’s the next step. Each step that you take to stepping more into your power is a step that is closer to your potential, closer to your highest good, [00:32:00] closest to the person that somebody else out there is waiting for because your message delivered in your way at the exact time when you’re going to deliver it from that stage might save somebody.
Someone’s life. And I’m not saying that in a hyperbole way. You never know what you are going to say, how you will help them transcend, transform and become the better versions of themselves because you finally did it. You finally took the step into being the highest version of yourself.
Chardét: I want to hear a year from now, people coming back, writing a review on this episode, saying they got that book and now they’re on stages or even six months.
Whatever. Thank you for being here and giving your incredible energy and for channeling and for teaching us how to start doing it ourselves. Like you are a force and I love that you help other people feel like they can be one too.
Aleya Harris: Absolutely. That’s what this is all about. Thank you so much for having me Shardé.
I love the non question questions. It was
Chardét: [00:33:00] wonderful being here with you. And thank you so much for listening. If you have any friends who are trying to establish their careers a little bit more, become the thought leaders or their business owners, send them this episode because it is going to make a huge difference in how they come across and how they connect with their people.
Thank you for listening always, and I will see you in the next one.
